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Dating a writer is also not glamorous, no matter what you may have seen at the movies: writing is not exciting to witness, dating a writer will not get you into any clubs worth being in, and we are not all delectable Oscar Wildes dripping charm and dropping bon mots at dinner. Here are fourteen things you should know before you date a writer.
We're hopeful hermits, who are going to be sulky hermits when our current chapter isn't working out. If you come away feeling as if you shouldn't touch one with a ten-foot pole, I will consider my job done.
It's awesome that so many people in the world want to be novelists/lyricists/poets/historians. But most of us have heard the "novel in me" idea before, and if we're currently in the struggling, not-particularly-rewarding phase of trying to wrestle one out, having somebody tell you about the novel they're blithely not writing can be a bit off-putting.
(Also, following this up with "but I had so much real work to do" is definitely not going to get you laid.) I've written a novel that's been rejected by so many agents, I long ago lost count.
Well, I don't want to shock you, but there are some people out there who think that writers are not the ideal mate.When you think about all of the failure and rejection that are part and parcel of writing — trying to sell a not-terribly-commercial-book in a commercial writing market, facing up to harsh critiques and reviews, being rejected by publishers, journals and prizes — you realize that the writing is actually the easy part.We have to keep putting ourselves out there to be successful, and the setbacks are frequent and painful, so we have developed a thick skin – but your support (and ice cream) are also very nice.But it's also very easy for us to haaaaate doing it when it's difficult, and become world-class procrastinators. Inspiration doesn't usually just turn up at two in the morning and dance around our heads, demanding that we take notice right this second.But sometimes — usually when we're relaxing, thinking, or about to go to sleep, but often when we're spurred by some other thought or event — we'll get a good idea. But I don't write children's fiction or erotica or fantasy — it's not what I'm good at!
), so if that's what we're doing, tell us — or dump us to teach us a lesson.