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Christa: I actually approached someone on the train recently and he was totally ok with it but yeah it was kind of up to me to make a move.Chiara: Um, let’s say in another field I had to make the first step.Chiara: I heard too that Japanese men weren’t so interested in foreign women but my experience is kind of the opposite.But you don’t know if they’re interested in you as a person or because of your foreignness.Chiara: Or if they don’t want to talk to you then there’s just silence. I’ve noticed that if I show a little too much enthusiasm or come across as too independent, that will trigger silence.Like if I initiate wanting to meet that puts some guys off here.Rebecca: I wasn’t so attracted to Japanese men but now after living here for three years I would say I definitely am. Christa: I’ve always been attracted to Japanese men, even when I was young, so I did some research before I came here and I saw that generally they are interested but they’re very shy about approaching women so you may need to approach them.So now when I go home I immediately look for the nearest Asian guy like ‘Hey! Christa: I was with a girlfriend in Shibuya and two men approached us on the street and we went out for drinks. *Laughter* Rebecca: Exactly, each time that’s happened to me the guy has been pretty hammered.
I don’t know if it’s true or not but I have heard that there are some Japanese girls who look to specifically date foreign guys because they’re seen as cool or ‘ikemen’.
Finding love in the modern age is a tricky business for us ladies; there’s attractive profiles to create, emoticons to choose and the general deciphering of Tinder captions – ‘I feel how pizza tastes’… Throw in some culture shock, the language barrier and a completely different set of rules and you have something like dating in Japan.
In the name of research, Gaijin Pot got together three different women (UK, USA and Italy) to share their experiences of dating in Japan. Chiara: I thought that they didn’t find me attractive so I wasn’t really interested in Japanese guys, even though I was attracted to them.
Not to say that’s true for every foreign guy here but you do see a lot more couples made up of Japanese girls and non-Japanese guys around.
Chiara: With foreign guys it’s easier to figure them out I think.