Example of validating communication
When coaching or counseling an employee who has a negative attitude, a personality conflict with a coworker or hasn't performed up to expectations, the principles of constructive communication are particularly important.On these occasions, the risk of putting the employee on the defensive is very high.A better approach to these situations is addressing the issue while using the attributes of constructive communication.Constructive communication makes managers more effective at coaching and counseling by .In retrospect, if the chair was not going to ask the committee members to stick to the agenda, then he needed to listen carefully to the issues being raised and reflect back what was being said.
If we aren't honest, listeners won't trust what we say.
The chair, partly because he didn't listen well enough, thought his decision making was being challenged.
He became frustrated, defensive and agitated, and he responded to the committee member in a manner that created more frustration.
A common example of incongruent communication is saying that "it's no big deal" or "I don't mind" when you are in fact discussing an important issue.
We're constructive when we use congruent communication because we're giving the other party the truth rather than misleading them.
In response, many managers decide not to bother worrying about feelings, and just take a "hard-nosed" approach.