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Other times, they are being entirely honest: they really prefer to be friends.They may think that sex ruins friendships or they may be interested in somebody else.In short: you acted too much like a friend and not enough like a lover.It’s an easy trap to fall into; many nerds assume that the best way into a woman’s heart is to be a nice guy and act like her new BFF. Not only is this unattractive behavior in a potential lover, it’s misleading and will inevitably cause a misunderstanding of intent.Interestingly, this is one of the most common forms of the Friend Zone for to find themselves stuck in – also known as The Bro-Zone.This form of the Friend Zone tends to arrive out of nowhere – it entails becoming attracted to somebody that you were already genuinely friends with.It’s the move by men who ultimately fear rejection and would rather submit themselves to the Friend Zone than risk losing the fantasy.This is and a complete dick move; the pretender is trading on somebody’s willingness to believe him when he insists that he doesn’t have ulterior motives in trying to be friends with her.
Now, as I’ve said before, The Friend Zone is a myth. Giving him the Let’s Just Be Friends speech (LJBF) is a – theoretically – gentler way of saying”look, I don’t want to date you/sleep with you”.
You can’t simply assume that your desires are obvious that they can’t possibly be mistaken; I can’t keep track of the number of letters and comments I’ve received from people who couldn’t understand why the person they liked had no idea they exist despite giving what they thought were unmistakable indicators of interest. Not to “grab dinner, if y’know, you don’t have any plans”. You need to actually use the word “date” – anything less and your outing is subject to interpretation; may think that you’re just hanging out because you enjoy each other’s company.
Unfortunately, one person’s “glaringly obvious” is another person’s “insanely subtle” and prone to misinterpretation. One issue that comes up, especially in the world of online dating, is that some people will want to be friends first; in fact, you’ll find many people – mostly women – will have “I want to make friends, if something more happens, then great! More often than not, this is an indicator that they want to take things slowly -all well and good. To do otherwise is not only dishonest but also runs the risk of causing them to misinterpret your interest.
The reasons may differ but the end result is the same: you’re not going to progress beyond “friend”. The second form of the Friend Zone involves being in a relationship under false pretenses.
This is, surprisingly enough, the most common form; it’s the end result of the Platonic Friend Backdoor Gambit, wherein a person – almost always a man – to only be interested in a platonic friendship with the hope that he can weasel his way into her heart and/or panties, given enough time.
Eponymous founder Ken Deckinger says the site is a major online dating improvement for both men and women.